Tortoises and Dolphins
A lot of my university friends have landed jobs in the health professions. Doctors, physios, paramedics, osteopaths. Not sure why, it’s just dropped that way. Useful for a 25-year old that’s been thrown off their parent's private health policy. Muscle injuries, sore backs, medical advice, Hepatitis A, B, C. no problem. They are never short of a bit of not quite qualified medical advice.
The drawback is the barbecue conversation. It's gone from “Big night last night, did you see who XYZ left with…” to “you should’ve seen his ECG”, “this guy came in with a burnt C4 dermatome” and “one job was GCS5.”
Might as well be speaking another language. At our “pop in and tell us about your new life” Christmas barbecue this year the medical dolphins (you know they are intelligent but you can’t communicate with them) outnumbered the humans. Liam and I found ourselves nodding and nodding as they blithered on with acronym after acronym. You’d think for such a presumably intelligent group of mates they’d realise the rest of us haven’t actually done three to six years learning medical jargon as we stand there with our heads tilted to one side like an Alsatian puppy, trying desperately to understand and please but really not having the slightest idea, or in the end, interest, in what’s going on.
Didn’t Einstein say something about, smart people being able to explain complex theories to their grandparents? They’re obviously not that smart then if they can’t make it interesting for the dumb, but if you pull them up the rest of the conversation is peppered with a subtle yet evident veneer of superiority.
In the finance world, we have a few acronyms of our own, and for those of you still trading shares (so 1980s) there is one acronym you had better wake up to because it’s a hot topic with the dolphins (my future clients) and its ETFs.
I know most of you probably think the Millennials are all short term spivs looking for a quick buck but that couldn’t be further from the truth. We are hyper-cautious. We have no buffer, we have no equity in our houses and short of inheriting off you lot we know that unless we start employing the eighth wonder of the world (compounding returns) as soon as we can we simply aren’t going to build assets.
The good news is that we have a much longer runway than most of you and a structure, Super, that was built to achieve it. The money goes in and it doesn’t come out and if you do the numbers we will be OK.
Here are the numbers if you put in a $1 contribution every year for 35 years:
- At 1% pa you will end up with $42 (having contributed $35).
- At a 5% return pa you will end up with $90 (having contributed $35).
- At 5.5% pa (average stock market return) you will end up with $100.
- At 9.7% pa (average stock market return plus dividends) you will end up with $253.
- At 10% pa you end up with $271 (remember it cost you $35).
- At 15% pa you end up with $881.
- At 20% pa you end up with $2928.